1 year ago today...

WAS THE BEST DAY EVER! on 9/9/09 our sweet baby devin came home from the NICU after a 79 day stay. he weighed 7 lbs. and was still 2 weeks away from his original due date. he was beautiful, perfect and healthy and we were so scared, happy, excited, nervous, anxious... those words seem so bland in comparison to the way we actually felt. there are no words to describe how wonderful it was to finally bring our boy home.

we got to the hospital at around 11am and didnt leave until around 3pm. we had so many instructions, papers to sign and healthcare professionals to meet with. when the time came to dress devin in his cute little "go home" outfit, i about lost it with happiness! then came the most exciting part... unhooking him from his last wires! he was just on a monitor at that point but it was AMAZING to finally walk into the hall holding him with nothing attached. it was surreal. i was, of course so afraid that he wasnt breathing even though he was fine. they wheeled me out in a wheelchair holding him. this was hospital policy and i wasnt about to complain. i DESERVED that ride and so did devin! i had watched woman after woman be wheeled out of that hospital with their babies every day while i was taking the elevator to the top floor to visit mine :( being pushed through the doors and out to my waiting car while holding my sweet baby was my first "normal mom moment" and it felt wierd and wonderful! looking at us, you would never know what we had been through and that i hadnt just given birth 2 days before. at that point, i  think i let go of a lot of emotional baggage i had been storing for the last months. not all of it, but most of it :) 

when we got home we laid our bundle in the co-sleeper fabian built for him and gave him his first feeding at home. we were nervous but confident at the same time. we had already gotten to know devin a little and he was sort of on a schedule for feeding at least so that was nice. he settled right in and adjusted very well to his brand new, much more comfortable surroundings. it was the best day of my life and i will never forget it!

this was his last picture taken in his hospital crib :) i consider this his newborn hospital picture that we never got to have taken!

here are the pictures i took of him today in celebration of our special day. i couldnt resist putting him in this outfit! i LOVE it! im so so happy that this adorable little boy is all mine! he has officially lived in our home for 1 year and has officially stolen my heart long before that :)

devin's 1st birthday party! just a little late...

i finally got around to uploading devin's birthday party pictures! my mom ended up taking most of them because i just didnt get a spare moment the whole time. we had the party on june 25th, 2 days after his actual birthday. it was supposed to be ocean or sea life themed and i had all these elaborate plans to make it super fabulous. unfortunately, not many of them came to fruition. i feel badly complaining about it so much but please just bear with me! NOTHING worked and it was HORRIBLE doing it alone!

 a few examples are: the 6 fish that we bought to use as party favors for each of the 6 kids who would be there. i bought them all the night before (those 35 cent goldfish)  and transferred them to their new homes (pretty glass vases with rocks and shells and cute stuff that i put together). when i woke up in the morning, all of them but 1 were dead! :( apparently they needed a filter. oops. the rest of the day went pretty much just like that from there on. the wagon full of decorations and candy and stuff fell down our stairs and everything spilled out right as we were leaving, i had to go to the park and decorate alone because fabian was the only one who was able to watch devin, i was only able to get over there 2 hours before the party was scheduled to start so i was rushing around like crazy trying to figure out how to hang and attach stuff to the HUGE pavilion, it was like 105 degrees, basically the second the clock struck 4:30 (the time it was supposed to start) there was a thunderstorm with pouring rain so all my table arrangements and plates had to be taken down because they were blowing all over, and the real kicker was not 1 person showed up for at least an hour. fabain, devin , my mom and my aunt and i were the only people there for a while and i honestly thought nobody was going to come after all that but they eventually showed up. it WAS friday during the beginning of rush our so its totally understandable they were late but it was pretty rough at first! the first part of the day was sooooo annoying and i swear to NEVER do that again! i will always have someone else do all the everything from now on! i enjoyed making things like his birthday banner and his cakes but thats pretty much all i ever want to handle again in way of b-day parties. oh! AND fabian had quit smoking cold turkey (after almost 10 years), just 2 days before the party. he has always promised me that he would quit smoking for good on or before his first child's first birthday. unfortunatley, he chose ON the birthday and was a royal asshole for the entire day of the party. that just happens to be the day he decided to START being an asshole and did'nt STOP for about 2 weeks. THANKS ASSHOLE! it was worth it though because he really did great and has'nt smoked a cigarette since. im very proud of him for sticking to his word like that and accomplishing the excruciating task of NOT smoking! yay fabian! 

the party itself was great and i think everyone (especially devin) enjoyed themselves.    

we set up a little kiddie pool and all the kids loved it! it was such a tiny, crappy pool but they were all about it.

this was his first time playing in the mud. he was SO happy and im pretty sure he just wanted to be sitting in the mud instead of in stupid old, clean water.

i loved making the cakes. i actually made 2 of the shark cakes. one was used for his 1st birthday photo shoot that was on his real birthday, june 23rd. he actually demolished that cake. he did'nt really want to eat any of it but he really dug into it! on his birthday he wanted nothing to do with it. we put it on his highchair tray and he just gave it the cold shoulder pretty much :) he was like "been there, done that!" 

he knew exactly what to do with all the presents and had a good time opening them. he was really tired at this point but he stuck it out till the end. it was a great day after everything calmed down (in my over stressed, worried, party planning mind) and it will always be a great memory for me.