1st birthday countdown - devin's 1st month...

i decided to take a great idea from a fellow blogger mama i found through michelle over at plus one. her name is emily and she has a darling, beautiful daughter named poppy who recently hit the big 1. her blog is called last train to pooksville. the link i provided starts you off at her first countdown post. there are 12 days left until devin turns one and what i will be doing each day is creating a post (with pictures of course) describing exactly what was going on in each month of devin's life starting with his first month. on the 12th day i will be making his birthday post! i so enjoyed knowing that emily would be pretty much forced to grace us with her blogger presence each and every night leading up to poppy's big day and loved getting to watch poppy grow all over again. so here goes...

devin's first month...
jue 23rd 2009 was the day devin was born. i had been in the hospital on the high risk floor for the last almost 5 weeks. i had a very difficult scary pregnancy. i started having bleeding at 5 weeks, just one week after i found out i was pregnant. for the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy i thought i was having a miscarriage pretty much every day. at 22 weeks i had yet another very heavy bleed and went to have my 20th or so ultrasound to make sure things with the baby still looked ok. they always had despite the scary unexplained bleeding. this time, things were not ok. i had no amniotic fluid. my water had broken at 22 weeks 6 days and i was admitted to the hospital. i was told i would stay there until i had my baby and the chances were that would be very soon. drs. gave me a less than 10% chance i would ever bring my son home alive. it was the most devastating day of my life. i was in complete agony over the aspect that my perfect baby could die and most likely would. drs. said the most a woman could go with 0 amniotic fluid is about 2 weeks and of course that still didn't give me much of a chance. fabian and i were asked to make a decision about whether or not we would want our son resuscitated if he came at some point in the 23 week mark because this was the "grey area". they would take life saving measures but they didn't recommend it. it was up to us.i refused to make that decision and fabian stuck by me. he told me things would be ok. our baby was strong and he would be just fine. i really wanted to believe him but man was it hard when every dr. and most nurses were preparing for the worst.

i laid in a hospital bed only getting up to use the lovely "bedside commode". i drank gallons of water a day and started researching preemies and pprom (preterm premature rupture of membranes). kanalen.org was a wonderful resource and taught me that there was real hope in a situation like ours. also, i started stalking the preemie parenting board on babycenter.com.

i started having contractions june 22nd overnight. the dr. checked me in the morning and it was official... i would be having a c-section today, at 25 weeks 6 days gestation. my baby was estimated to weigh 2 lbs. 3 oz and i was scared to death. he arrived at 10:51 am on june 23rd 2009. my birth story is actually awful, its here if you feel like reading it. this day began our NICU journey.

he weighed 2 lbs. 6oz and was 13.5 inches long. he was very sick for the first few days. he needed to be on the oscillating jet vent and his blood pressure was dangerously low. they had him on every possible medication to bring his blood pressure up to normal. nothin seemed to be working. we were told once agian we might lose our son. the first days were dreadful. it was such a blur. i was so scared and so happy and so sad all at the same time. fabian was very strong and of course remained positive the whole time. devin had jaundice and needed to be under the bili lights for quite some time. it seemed he was under those lights for months, but it was only a few weeks.

we had some wonderful nurses taking care of  devin for the first few days and i was able to interact with him on the very first day and hold him on his 3rd day. i started pumping breast milk about 20 hours after he was born and as his condition improved over the next few days and weeks, small amounts were finally introduced through his feeding tube.

first picture of the three of us together...

my first time holding him (and kissing him)...

things were very stressful. he was doing ok, but new things popped up each day. bad news, then good news, then worse news and so on. it was the most difficult time of our lives! i started doing kangaroo care after a week or so and it was wonderful. most of his nurses were great and allowed us to be very hands on. we bathed him, changed his diaper and held him alot.

the last week of his first month he was allowed to wear a real outfit! this is the first really happy picture of me, i was so glad to see him in a real baby outfit! i was so proud! the next day i was able to dress him myself! i hated that i had to be "allowed" to do things, but thats preemie momhood in the beginning. its hard, but oh so worth the wait! im a big fan of milestones and being mama to a preemie gave me waaaay more milestones to celebrate! devin hit so many milestones in his first month! coming off all blood pressure meds, coming off the vent, coming off c-pap, being held for the first time, first feeding, first bath, first time wearing clothes, first time taking a pacifier, first holiday (4th of july), and just plain surviving- not only surviving, but kicking ass at surviving were some milestones crossed in his first month. he had alot more to go, but we had made it a month and things were looking up. he was out of the woods... the dark scary part of the woods at least and things were becoming more routine and relaxed, well, relaxed isn't the right word, i guess things were just a tiny bit less horrible by the end of the month. each day, got more and more exciting as i slowly started to realize i had way more than a 10% of taking this amazing baby home after all.

happy 10 months devin!

i cant believe devin turned 10 months old today! DOUBLE DIGITS???!!! only 2 more months until his first birthday :( here are his 10 months shots i took today at a park today.

 i have'nt posted in so long and he's doing so many new things. we've been very busy and devin is just getting over his first cold :( it finally happened, he got sick. the crazy thing is that after all this time we've been so careful and paranoid about him catching a cold and fabian is the one who gave it to him. he was sick all of the week before this last one and devin was holding up ok until last friday night when i heard him become a little stuffy overnight. all of a sudden he would sniffle a little and wake himself up. he was very restless and i sat awake all night hoping he wasnt actually coming down with something but when he woke up that morning his temp. was 100.5. i called the dr. and they told me not to worry about the fever, just to pay attention to his symptoms and bring him to the e.r. if he had trouble breathing or started wheezing. he was very stuffy and his fever went up to 101.5 that day at its highest but he never had any breathing issues :) he really scared me at one point while fabian was out (of course it happens while im alone). he had eaten great all day but all of a sudden he would get a little snot attack and start gagging on it :( he would gag and throw up, gag and throw up, about 4-5 times in about 15 minutes. i was panicking! i was trying to call fabian in and call the pediatrician at the same time. when fabian got back in (he was outside) and didnt really "get" the severity of what was going on... (yeah, annoying!) we put him in the car and started rushing to the e.r. about 5 minutes later devin was happy as can be and breathing clear so we turned around. i wasnt ready to take him to the e.r. and have 8 different people try to draw blood and run a bunch of tests if it wasnt 100% necessary and im glad we did'nt go because he has gotten better and better very fast since then. his fever was gone by the next day and his feedings started picking back up by the 3rd day. the tail end of day one he started not wanting to eat at all because he was stuffy and not able to breathe from his nose while on the bottle. now hes eating normal and just has a tiny bit of  congestion lingering and he coughs 3 times a day or so but thats it. it was hard but he did so well! for so long we just did'nt know how his little body would handle even the smallest cold and he certainly put my mind at ease. he was a trooper. we got him california baby cold and flu aromatherapy bubble bath and gave him a bath 1-2 times a day for the first few days because he loved it and i really think it helped him feel better. it smells great, like a light version of vicks (i love vicks and just inhale it over and over even when im not sick! :) he has his 2 bottom teeth now, they're almost completley in. he got his second one right after the first. the next day in fact! his first showed up march 30th and his second came out on april 1st. in these pictures you'll notice devin's handsome little necklace, its a baltic amber teething necklace and he wears it everyday now. the amber stones contain succinic acid  and when they sit against skin, the heat lets trace amounts into the bloodstream and it acts as a natural pain reliever. its supposed to be great for teething and growing pains. its safe for babies to wear because there is a double knot in between each bead and its designed to break if its pulled to hard instead of choking the child. it fits snug so he doesnt evne notice it. its not for him to chew on which is what i thought at first, its all about the natural pain relief. im not sure if it works, but i'll try anything safe that will help keep teething pains to a minimum. i'll try to judge if his next teeth that come are accompanied by less fussiness. i ordered myself one too, so we have matching necklaces, which some people think is weird, but i think its awesome and devin loves pulling on mine :) plus, i think it makes him look like the coolest baby on the block.

in other news... he's becoming much more independent and capable of doing things for himself. his new favorite activity is to sit and play with one toy at a time out of his toy basket. he reaches in, takes something out , plays until hes bored with it and goes in for another when he's ready. so cute!

we also had to bring the pack and play out and take the newborn thing out of it that raised up the base so he was up higher. we took it out and use it as a little playpen now for when i have to make a bottle or get some chores done. he sits in there and plays and LOVES it!

and please, please tell me why my "little baby" loves to STAND up holding onto the edge??? when did this happen? he can stand there for any length of time and is just so proud of himself!

we still try new finger foods every once in a while. he really likes baby mum mums. hes getting the pincer grip down and will eat a few puffs, yogurt melts or baby cheetos but hes still not very fond of pureed foods.

once again, i have to mention that im in no way "ok" with the fact that my sweet babe is 10 months now when he would only be 7 months but what can i do? i just have to suck it up and deal! he makes it pretty easy because he's perfect no matter what his age is!

little reader

devin has really begun to enjoy being read to. he will sit and listen to a whole book, sometimes two and look at the pictures the whole time. its so funny, when i talk louder or in a funny voice while reading to him he gets so excited and kicks and grabs at the pages!

devin is also starting to seem bored with his millions of toys. i dont understand this because you would think such a young baby would be amazed by things over and over for a while, but he really seems to be not too interested in some things that he used to really enjoy. the only thing that used to make him smile it seemed were these owls on his mobile in his pack and play, apparently hes over them now because he barely looks at them anymore! he has soooo many toys and we actually make a mess with them now. i dont even want to think about what my house will look like a year from now. im going to have fabian make him some heavy duty toy boxes sometime soon.

his feedings are going better than they had been for the last few days and his little spots are pretty much gone now so hopefully whatever he had is clearing up. today we're picking up a jumperoo for him that we found for $30 on craigslist. its the one i wanted to get him but it cost $100 at babies r us and we cant afford that right now. so its pretty awesome that its so cheap and looks brand new. the jumperoo and sophie the giraffe are his gifts from santa. we also got him a bunch of toys from a thrift store, probably about 10 different things like light and sound type toys that are plastic and can be cleaned and 10 cute board books. that was a really inexpensive trip, i think about $30. thats the way to go for a baby who does'nt really care about presents! i hope he likes the jumperoo because lately he has been so restless while we hold him. all he wants to do is stand and jump and kick off our laps. he might still be a little young for it but im sure he'll grow into it.

here it is!